"Are you hungry? Wanna sit down and have something?"
"I don't have appetite, what about you?"
"You eat, I eat..."
Her eyes are red again. I am such a fool. Finally got away from the
noisy crowd at the MRT station, walking on one of the streets of AMK Ave
6.
Contrastingly, it's so quiet now that I even can hear the rhythm of her
heartbeat."
"Slorr, do you know what's the correct way of applying perfume?"
I shook my head. In fact, I had never used a perfume or cologne before,
medicated oil maybe.
"First you apply some behind your ears, then your neck and wrists.
After that spray some onto the air, then walk through it."
"Sure or not?"
"In that case this little bottle won't even be able to last you for 3
days"
"Slorr, shall we try?"
"We? You go ahead. I am a MAN."
She opened up that DOLCE VITA, behind her ears, neck then the wrist she
applied some and she really did spray some onto the air!!
WABIANGZ!! Expensive leh! Finally she stretched out her hands, facing
up like enjoying the raindrops falling on her face.
"Hahaha...."
"Slorr, this is so fun! Now its your turn."
She went through the same procedures with me and I can feel the
coldness of her fingers. Maybe it's the perfume, I guess.
"Slorr, get ready, I am going to spray!!"
I imitated her. Face up and walked through my first perfume rain.
"Slorr let's have another round!!"
" WHAT!! Serious?"
My money isn't easy to come by leh!! Before I can collect the broken
pieces of my heart, she had walked through her second round. She was even
more excited this time, hoping around, likes her nickname. A flying and
dancing butterfly. Late night of AMK, the street smells unusually nicer
right now. Until we finished the whole of that DOLCE VITA.
"DOLCE VITA is exhausted."
"I guess this sweet time shall end now too. Slorr, I'll go up now.
Tonight
1 am, I won't be online, and you are not to do so too."
"Huh? But why?"
"Go online at 12pm tomorrow. You will know.... Remember, only 12pm..."
She turned and walked into the lift. At the same time, I saw an obvious
pink patch behind her neck, which is visible only now because she tied
her hair.
I looked up towards her window on the 4th floor from below, but it
never light up.
I switched off the light in my room. Engulfed in the absolute darkness.
I wished to have the same kind of feeling as her right now. I realized
in complete darkness, the easiest mood one gets... is loneliness. She
must be lonely right now, half asleep.
I almost can see a beautiful butterfly, turning to ashes amidst the sea
of flame. And that patch behind her neck.. from pink it became red.
Then burgundy. Slowly, it swallowed me was it the cause of that can of
beer just now?
Suddenly I felt cold and shaky. And that coolness seemed to have come
straight from my heart, the rate of my heartbeat was an exponential
function of time as it got closer to 1 am.
USE A DIFFERENT NICK!!
Checked..
She isn't there; my heart was beating fast. But the temperature
remained below healthy level....
-=~@~=-
Finally it?fs 12 p.m., excited as I was, logged on the net, yet there
was still no sign of FlyNDance. But there's a mail from her:
Dear Slorr,
At first I thought it will be easier for me to settle down in the
darkness.. recollecting memories we have shared... but all I felt was
loneliness..... Can you feel it too?...
I still can't change the habit of logging on at 1am... so I used a
different nick to sneak into AJCRR... you don't blame me right?...:P... you
weren?ft there... should I feel glad for your obedience?.... you said
both of us belonged to TYPE 2... the foolish type...maybe you are
right!... 'COs I really do admire those who dares to fight for their
desires... I stroke my hair gently when you said that I am leaving the world...
and a few strands of hair fell..... No!... doctor told me its not a
terminal disease... and doctor aren't supposed to lie!!?... I still can
live like a normal person...
BUT CAN I ?
FlyNDance... is it really something I wont be able to do?... After the
first meeting with you at Mac... I started to realize that you are not
only a virtual being living in the cyberspace... in reality you are
strong, gentle and sensitive.... I can feel the defense Wall of my heart
is slowly breaking apart.... I am defeated... I tied my hair today..
'cos my fren told me that I look more attractive this way...
I want you to remember my face as it is today... 'cos after today...
everything may change.... But why didn't you ask for my real name?
..that?fs why I never asked for urs...
I am a girl mah..:P... do you realized how I wish to have something
more than a nick to take along with me? ...Slorr... thank you for the
DOLCE VITA. Finally got a taste of what sweet times are like... but I am
really sorry.
??.I just couldn?ft bear to say goodbye.....
Since it started from a mail.... it should end with a mail too.... Its
been 3 months and 2 days since the very first mail... not a very long
time but it isn't short either.... our story began from me... and I will
end it.
Maybe its what you said... 'Internet is fast and convenient, but it
isn't perfect'.... I can send you my thoughts right away... but not my
tears...
It?fs about 5.30am now.... time to go.... by the time you receive this
mail...
I would be trying to settle down somewhere else.... I don't know....
Good Bye
With lotsa love,
FlyNDance
After reading her mail, I felt as if I had just experienced a
roller-coaster ride which almost derailed. She had shown me the other side of
her, soft and sensitive.
For a couple of months, I was trying to hypnotizes myself, to suppress
my feelings whenever I started to think about her again. Perpetually I
was telling myself, she is just one virtual character that fly and
dance in the net, but never in the real world. I became a fugitive,
escaping from my PC, escaping from the Internet and anything that has to do
with coffee. Hide myself behind the piles of lecture notes, behind the
crowd of people, trying to get rid of this thought of missing something
in life.
But I failed. I found out that its not that I don't miss her, its just
that I had forgotten the passion that always comes along when you are
having something hanging on your mind all the time. Its like I cannot
breathe, it?fs just that I had forgotten the fact that I have been
breathing in and out for the past 19 years.
I can hold my breath for a while, but not forever.
I have to find her!
"Err... I am looking for ... er..FlyNDance...."
"HUH??..."
'Huh', this is the exact word I was expecting from her.
She seems to be FlyNDance's elder sister, 20++, looked quite a beauty
too even without any makeup. But of course, still can't be compared with
her. I explained to her my purpose for knocking on the door and told
her that I am no stalker whom she might think I am.
Surprisingly when I told her my disgusting nick, Slorr, she appeared to
be rather excited and quickly she scribbled something on a small piece
of paper and handed it to me.
"You should go and see her. SGH, Room 3-425."
-=~@~=-
