In the beginning of 2006, I stepped into a wrong relationship, and I am glad that I withdrawn soon enough to get neither of us hurt. But I still don’t understand why I cried like hell that time, LOL.
Kheerui mentioned that to me few days ago and it was then that I realized, LOL. Super hilarious to think back, but never mind, it’s a lesson learnt- that’s GREAT differences between love and reliance on someone during your weakest point. (:
Entered TP Design School in April, and the Ignite camp changed me a lot, from a never-speak-up-her-mind person to a too-noisy-and-crazy someone.
But frankly speaking, I have not be giving my best shots of my work and assignment, and I don’t know what’s holding me back either.
Somewhere between July, after conning myself for two years to believe in his theory, I finally let go much of the past. But, he had my first true love.
It wasn’t planned but not long after, another person stepped into my life, just when I decided to lead on a carefree and swinging single life.
Just a simple question from him, and I’m into him.
What a magical question.
But I guess history is repeating itself on me, why is hope given to me yet later taken away again.
A year. Five months have passed. You once asked me if I’ll wait ever for a year, and you have my answer. Maybe you don’t remember it anymore, maybe I wont wait this long but its doesn’t matter. I’ll still be here until the day its time to leave.
You have been waiting for her, I know it’s tiring, so it’s now my turn.
Parts about him still haunts me a little, and thought of the things he used to do for only me, but it’s you that matter now, for he is just part of my memories that used to be beautiful.
I never had the chance to really understand you, but little things made me stay.
When you called and when you joked,
When you took me on a ride,
When you told me you’re safe and it’s over,
When I fell and when the road’s silent with just the two of us passing by,
When your face is covered with cream and I could be the one wiping them off for you,
When you said you’ll try,
And when you smile,
That’s when everything about you becomes important to me.
I thought I’ll leave when I knew it’s still her who means the world to you, but I din.
I don’t know why I here to stay.
~
My wish list for the rest of the days for year 2006
- sentosa outing with the girls to be successful on 28/12 (those who want to join, give us a call. (; )
- to be able to spend my new year eve with him
- do my hair
- no more insomnia
- go kite flying
- visit my grandparents
- watch countdown firework
- world peace. (:
~
Couldn’t fall asleep late night and I thought of donkey lots of things, insomnia is really knocking on my door.
My first even regret was not being able to take up Arts in secondary school, might sounds donkey funny but it’s really a big regret, I used to be able to draw but now, no more.
I’ve never regret taking up d&t as it’s really really a great course to get me to where I am now, but if only school can offer all three hands-on subjects ( d&t, f&n and Arts together) lah, arrrgh. If only.
As if I can cope with all three plus EMS, humanities and mother tongue, but I’ll rather slog myself like bull than regretting now. I cant even fry a presentable egg, less to say to cook a single decent meal.
I am so going to start a school on my own and make all those 3 subjects a MUST. The name of the school shall be SIM LEEYUN THE HUNK SCHOOL. LOL.
Next regret on list is giving up on netball, that’s such a stupid decision I’ve ever made. I was doing great during the last term of secondary 2, and I got myself into the school team after much hard work. But soon enough, one tends to take things for granted, and I neglected netball, just for the sake of having more fun. Served me right, I was lagged behind soon, and never had a chance to revive.
Give me back my years, I want to be a netballer again.
And my very last regret- not fighting for the opportunity which was initially given to me.
I was selected for the new interview for my bin months ago, I had a chance to present my work to the public but I let the chance slipped by, when asked to do interview, I stepped back. And my classmate seized the chance, and the chance became hers.
I thought I hate her for seizing the chance away, but in fact I hate myself, for being so useless.
What I want is not my face to be seen on teevee, I don’t need to be a star. I just want my work to be recognized and appreciated, that’s what a designer wants and that what I want.
I have all I wanted to say in my mind, and words by words I remembered it all, give me a chance to present to you, I want you to understand my soul.
~
Stop the rain please, let all be safe.
Earthquakes come back no more, salute to the brave daddy who sacrificed for the kids.
Sentosa-ing tomorrow, don’t rain please.
Awaiting for you.
